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Nhân vụ án mạng xác chết không tay không đầu vừa gây sóng gió cộng đồng mạng trong mấy ngày vừa qua, tôi bỗng nhớ đến một bộ phim mà mình cũng mới xem gần đây: Kill Your Darlings. Case study của vụ án mạng này và trường hợp trong phim gần như giống nhau đến 90%. Đại loại là có 1 anh trai nọ yêu một em trai kia chí chết, em trai kia vì vụ lợi và những toan tính cá nhân đã để cho anh trai nọ yêu đương và quất pặc pặc trong một thời gian khá dài. Cho đến khi em trai quyết định… thôi thì anh trai không chịu, bám đuôi, níu kéo, quấy rối và rốt cuộc, hậu quả dẫn đến là một cái chết.
Trong Kill Your Darlings, em trai tên Lu rốt cuộc đã bị ở tù vì tội giết người, nhưng là tội nhẹ vì vụ án này được xem là một vụ honor killing. Honor killing được áp dụng trong các trường hợp hung thủ bị nạn nhân quấy rối tình dục nên mới có phản ứng giết người. Cụ thể trong phim, Lu bị David bám đuôi và đòi nối lại mối quan hệ nên đâm ra bực tức, Lu đã đâm David nhiều nhát và dìm xuống sông. (Và cũng gần giống với vụ ngoài đời, Lu có thể gọi là bisexual vì vừa để David quất vừa có những cảm xúc với phụ nữ)
Trở lại đời thực, những vụ án mà trong đó kẻ bám đuôi trở thành nạn nhân thực sự không nhiều. Ta chỉ hay thấy kẻ bám đuôi giết người, vì động cơ của họ lớn hơn. Sự tức tối vì tình yêu không được đáp trả, cơn thịnh nộ vì thấy ý trung nhân đi cùng người khác, lòng hận thù khi thấy bị bỏ rơi. Những thứ đó thường dễ bùng nổ hơn là những cái ác sinh ra từ sự sợ hãi. Việc một kẻ bám đuôi bị giết có thể xem là một sự nổi loạn bất trật tự, một sự vùng dậy của những kẻ yếm thế vốn có cuộc đời không như ý muốn, luôn bị giằng giật bởi những hành động chủ quan của người khác.
Câu hỏi được đặt ra ở đây là: Nếu có một kẻ bám đuôi, và ta không giết họ, thì liệu có một ngày nào đó họ giết ta không? Nghi vấn này thực sự không thể giải đáp được, và nó chỉ rõ ràng cho đến khi có một cái chết diễn ra. Vậy ai ở đây là người đáng chết? Kẻ đã lợi dụng tình yêu của người khác để trục lợi cho bản thân rồi bỏ đi, hay Kẻ luôn mù quáng tin rằng một khi thứ gì đã thuộc về mình thì mãi mãi là của mình, không bao giờ chấp nhận sự thất bại?
Cơn đau này là một sự lẩn quẩn. Người ta có thể bực tức và phẫn nộ vì hành động tàn ác của em trai kia. Nhưng những ai chưa từng kinh quá những tháng ngày bị sống trong kiềm nén, thúc thủ và yếm thế, sẽ không bao giờ hiểu được động cơ của hung thủ này. Tương tự, với những vụ sát nhân ngược lại, người ta có thể điên cuồng lên án những kẻ bám đuôi đi giết cả người mình yêu, nhưng những ai đã từng yêu chí chết một cái gì đó, có lẽ sẽ phải mủi lòng thông cảm và thương tâm. Cuộc đời vốn bất công, bản thân thần chết cũng là một kẻ bất công, và sự thực của đời sống là phải thế, nếu không thế giới này sẽ nhàm chán biết bao nhiêu.
Trong Kill Your Darlings có một câu mà bạn sẽ phải nhớ rất lâu, rằng: “Người ta nói, một khi bạn đã yêu một thứ gì đó, thì nó sẽ thuộc về bạn mãi mãi. Cho dù bạn có để nó đi, nó cũng sẽ du hành một vòng rồi trở về với bạn. Nó sẽ trở thành một phần trong con người bạn, hoặc sẽ hủy diệt con người bạn”.
Nói chung, vẫn là một câu rất cũ và sến súa, nhưng cần phải nhắc lại: tình yêu không phải trò đùa (nhưng sex thì có thể, haha). Đừng nghĩ chỉ cần yêu một người chơi chơi, qua loa, yêu tạm, yêu đại, khi nào không thích nữa thì thôi. Chơi dao thì có thể chỉ đứt tay, nhưng “chơi” với tình yêu thì sẽ có án mạng.
P/S: Kill Your Darlings là bộ phim kể về một phần cuộc đời của Allen Ginsberg, một nhà thơ đồng tính. Nhân vật Lu (kẻ giết người) chính là một trong những nhân vật đã dẫn dắt Allen vào đời và truyền lửa cho ông trở thành người tiên phong của “thế hệ beat” (beat generation). Người thủ vai Allen là anh chàng “Harry Potter” Daniel Radcliffe, còn vai Lu thuộc về Dane DeHaan. Diễn xuất của Dane DeHaan trong phim này thực sự rất xuất sắc và ấn tượng. Daniel diễn cũng hay nhưng khi đứng kế Dane thì lại rất nhạt nhòa.
(2014)


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